(Sonja)
We are live...
The topic today is about how do I break free from a career that I've been wanting to leave for so long in my life. You have success and you realize that's not it. That happened to Nina, the woman on the road that we're going to talk to now. Nina went to transformation and I want to tell you one thing about her. She has become a set designer. That's something that you really imagine, you know, the stages of the opera. She designed it. She studied architecture, things where some of us would go, wow. But she realized at one point that wasn't her thing and became a spiritual guide, including in her guidance helping people with true art and human design to find their life's purpose, to find their true selves. And before we dive even deeper in, I'm going to call Nina. No, I don't need to do something else. Nina!(...)
(Nina)
Hello, hello, everyone.
(Sonja)
The story of you today, Nina… I'm so, so happy that you said yes. And I've seen this amazing art piece. You know, I've introduced you that you were working as a set designer. And I remember in our conversation how you were telling me you wanted to become that. And you did everything. And you did the foundation with architecture. And then you arrived, and it's like, boom!
(Nina)
Okay, since I was 14, I always wanted to become a set designer. That was just that vision that was so driving me into that career that I was just 100% focusing on that. And no one, no one really could stop me. No one and nothing.
And, you know, by the end of my 20s, I just realized, oh, my God, this becomes a nightmare…
(Sonja)
Can you tell me a bit about that, you know, what happened?
(Nina)
Yeah, yeah. I was highly ambitious on one side. Yeah. So I was really mentally on my way. I completely neglected my emotional world. Anything that probably someone has like holidays and social time, I just ignored it. Yeah. So I was just busy doing my projects, my things, my model-making. I was working at the opera. It was more like a freelancing situation at the time as an assistant.
But, you know, I was preparing my set design for Prague because it was an international set design exhibition. And I was representing Germany for the students. So, it was a biggie for me just to be presented everywhere. And eventually I just really hit rock bottom because I had burnout because I was so driven towards that goal. And I just neglected everything around me. All my body parts, all my emotional side. I just completely neglected it because I was very, very strong-willed.
And, you know, that was my first calling to say, actually, I don't think that's a really good idea heading towards a career. That was my first sort of stop. And I think the second one was when I actually did stange architecture because I could sense that it is not fulfilling me. I'm not becoming an architect. I never wanted to become an architect. I always wanted to go there to get the skills that I would need to become a set design assistant. You know, setting up plans, being able to discuss projects with the construction department. And otherwise, especially as a woman, they don't take you seriously if you don't have the skills and the knowledge about how to construct things.
So, I was pretty aware that it is a very male-dominated area. And so I was just ambitious and I was just aware that I really have to work hard in order to be successful in this area And so the second time when I hit rock bottom, it was a bit bigger. That was really like the dark night of the soul because it was not only like having burnout but having a nervous breakdown. And maybe some of you would call it a psychosis. Right. I could hear different things that weren't really people experiencing, but I was experiencing them. And so it probably took me, I would say probably two or three years to get more grounded back again. So I just had a nervous breakdown and realised the career I was aiming for didn't work for me because I was overriding my heart's desires. I never got in contact with them and never asked my heart if you really want to go for that because the original idea of becoming a set designer was to touch people in their hearts.
That was my original vision and I also dreamed about twenty-four-seven just painting and drawing. And obviously, that was a very romantic idea about the job back then when I was 14. And the reality, obviously, is completely different. Yeah. You have to cope with certain deadlines. This is a highly elite project. If you want to become an international elite set designer, you have to cope with different interesting groups that you have to mingle with. And I had to be honest with myself. I can't see myself in this environment. And this environment actually makes me sick. Right.
(Sonja)
That's the common thread these days… its something like we have a dream - and, OK, I'm mainly speaking to women… most of them have come into a world of employment, into a work where there is, possibly, a male energy. It doesn't even have to be only men. It can be women radiating that male energy - performance-driven, non-emotional. If you say something emotional, you're pushed down. Right.
(Nina) Yeah..
(Sonja)
And, when we say performance in a female way, it's about birthing. Right. It's not about numbers and stuff. And that's a different way to approach this whole game. So when you talk about your heart's desire, touching people with your art…
(Nina)
Yeah.
(Sonja)
Then that's difficult to do in that context…
(Nina)
Definitely, and, I just realized that at the very specific moment when I got really sick, you know, I was really ill for a long period of time.
(Sonja)
And so and you would say mentally ill, right? You were just like, not…
(Nina)
Yeah, definitely depression. You know, and the interesting thing about it was, though, I never would have considered myself as being one of the depressed people because I always enjoyed what I was doing. But the problem was it's so many times, I just suppress my own feelings and emotions. Obviously, I developed a depression. Right. And I had to face it at some stage, that kind of depression part. And, so, let's put it that way... Dark Night of the Soul can enlighten you in many ways. I just know that the spiritual world is not just a light and hardened energy and a lovey-dovey. There can be also different things over there. And I've experienced those. Yeah. And I'm a highly spiritual person. But also, at the same time, very grounded. So, I try always to mix the so-called spirit world with the groundedness here on planet Earth. Because, what's the point if you can't bring in the energy and hold it in your body to embody it? Because that's pointless. Yeah.
So, I realized that later on, obviously, in reflection, during that Dark Night of the Soul, we had so many realizations that there is so much beyond what we're actually experiencing right now in this course. So reality.
(Sonj)
Can you, Nina, I'm sorry. I just love this getting deeper into Dark Night of the Soul. Because if you know, I was talking to Carol before. You can see… anybody who wants to look her up (Women On The Road Episode 1).. She also had this experience. Can you explain to me, because it was new to me, the word. Can you explain to me in the audience what it is?
(Nina)
OK. So for me personally, the Dark Night of the Soul is basically a big, massive wake-up call. It's a bit. It really rattles you. It just shakes you up to the ground. It can turn your whole paradigm upside down. And that's what the Dark Night of the Soul is. It could also come across as depression, as something really like a heavy, like a heavy illness, like cancer experience. So, whenever you've been faced with your existence and death and life in a way.
(Sonja)
Oh, wow. OK, I get it.
(Nina)
That's how I call it Dark Night of the Soul. It's a bit like sort of… “OK, we get we're getting now into training camp”b. See what everything, you know, see what the word is really like and see how you can cope with that. That's what I call the Dark Night of the Soul. Sometimes, you even get completely lost in there, and you have to face all your fears as well during the Dark Night of the Soul. But when you're doing that and I mean the process still keeps going on. I'm not saying that I'm not having any anxieties, but these anxieties at this specific time, they were kind of like, you know, heavy. And sometimes I was thinking, oh, my God, I just keep my fingers crossed I will get out of this in a healthy way and still alive. Yeah. So it's kind of like ‘a testing’ as well. Personally, for me, how much do you love life? How much do you really want to take on your life purpose, even if it's hard at the moment? So in a way, also diamonds are shaped during the Dark Night of the Soul. That's what I believe.
(Sonja)
Wow. I think many, many can relate to a similar position. And, what do people do if they don't have a Dark Night of the Soul? How can they wake up? I mean, speaking to you as a soul guide.
(Nina)
I don't think you necessarily need to have a Dark Night of the Soul. It depends. And I believe, it depends on your life plan. However that looks like, OK, We, as humanbeings - we often don't have the master plan overview. OK, but I believe we have spirit guides that keep track of if you're still on track on the plan. If not, there will come a time when you have to face certain circumstances. You cannot avoid certain things. You have to go into the anxiety. You have to face your fears no matter what it is. Just to make sure you're still on track. If they can sort of sense you're too much on the ego-driven side. Maybe I was on that. Right?
(Sonja)
I find it difficult. Sorry. Ego-driven side. Can you say that in nice words?
(Nina)
Yeah. Ego-driven means I'm just interested in being highly successful. I'm not really interested in the…If I contribute to other people's growth or happiness in a way. So ego-driven - I would say in a way that I understand it... It's more like I'm just completely focused on myself and my desires that they will be fulfilled on my satisfaction. That is for me ego ego-driven. Yeah, I'm not thinking about the others. If I'm connected with the others, have I got a purpose? There's a difference between just purely focusing on myself and on the other side being in service. And I think this kind of like the idea of being in service comes if you've been through the dark night of the soul.
(Sonja)
What an insight. So right. I've been going through this world and I'm thinking I'm going to make the money. I'm going to be free. I'm going to be happy because I've got to compete. I've got to da .da. da... And then there is a shift you're describing to the service to supporting the other lives.
And that shift... is kind.. that can happen without a dark night of the soul?
(Nina)
It happened for me definitely. And obviously, that was a phase of growth and ups and downs. Right. But when you eventually, you come to a point, and I would say I'm at a stage now where I'm doing mentoring, I'm doing coaching… Because I've been through all the dark phases and the highs and the lows. I can understand when people are telling me Nina, I'm really in a dark place right now. I'm suffering with suicide. Think thoughts and stuff like that. And I've never experienced that in my life before. I'm really scared about it. I can relate to that. I've been there in that place.
I know how it feels like. You know, there are some people that just take that from the books sort of in a theoretical way. I've experienced that. So that helps me as a mentor to understand where you at at the moment, but also what would be helpful to you or even going to the brainstorming situation. It doesn't have to be with me at all. I might not be the expert in your specific area, but what I'm really great at, is to gain clarity for you, where you're standing… To actually like, you know, put the truth on that because I'm allowing truth and radical allowance, whatever is there in the very moment and see where you can get from there maybe to there.
(Sonja)
And what role does the art and the human design play in all that?
(Nina)
Wow, I think art, and I would say specifically soul art had such a huge impact on my life because at the time I felt already a lot better. You know, that was around 2014 when I started on the certificate or when I just came in contact, first of all, with Laura Hollick. And, at the time, I've felt a bit triggered by her really because she looked very self-confident.
Even I, you know, I had that sense, even a little bit arrogant. Yeah, sort of like, yeah, I'm just creating my own life and I'm, you know, I'm art and so like, who do you think you are? You are… you that actually claim those things. I got really triggered by that. And at the end of the day, I could feel there's an envy inside of me as well, where I thought, oh my God, I wish I could create also my own life and just, you know, go for it and put that out into the world for what I'm standing for because that's what she did and what she does still today.
So I came across her and, you know, I joined Soul Art Day. That's always a very special, you know, international day where a thousand of participants are actually joining that day. And I got really hooked on that specific creative process that she has. And I felt so, sort of like, oh my God, that feels like home. That feels like coming home in a way, right? Because, as a kid, I just love being creative. I just painted all day. I sat in the corner. I wasn't interested so much in playing out the outdoors. People always could find me in the corner, drawing and painting. And I was like, oh my God, that feels so good. And so I just, you know, got on the course. And I remember that day when I signed up for the first level of Soul Art. I actually really feel like fireworks lighting up inside of me. Sort of like, yes, you got it, man. You just understood.
(Sonja)
Woman.. Woman!! (laughs)..
(Nina)
You got it. Finally, right? Sort of like, whoo, whoo, whoo. And I could feel, okay, that feels good. That feels really good. I have the sense I'm getting back on track now. But, in a completely different…I never expected it to be. Yeah. And also the sense that I, because I've been through many, many, many, many Soul Art journeys myself now.
The kind of depth of creativity and the trust into the creative adventure. It's just, I'm just trusting it blindly. And I think that's the beauty of it. I trust my creativity blindly. Wherever it takes me, it will be fine. Because wherever the spirit guides me, it will be perfect for me.
(Sonja)
And so. The human design now coming. Yeah.
(Nina)
Much, much later, human design comes in. I think I came across human design probably five years ago and I just looked at the chart, and I thought, what a bullsh*t.
Because it looked like an electronic, I don't know, set up energetic plan with lots of mysterious things on it. And I thought, what the heck? This seems again like a spiritual elite who knows everything about it, about this plan and the charts and they're just making stuff up. And I was really being put off. And later on 2021, I think I just, yeah, had a metaphysical workshop with Alisha Belluga. And she just brought in a completely different perspective on human design. Highly entertaining, completely understandable, and completely relatable as well. And just inflated all the complexity into a very simple language. And I thought, wow, that is amazing. And also the idea of actually, first of all, falling in love with your own energetic blueprint is mind-blowing… There to fall in love with yourself at the end of the day. But also to have the idea, I want to create a business that is based on my blueprint and understanding it. And then how can my business become unique because I have a unique blueprint. So, that all made complete sense to me. And since then, you know, I've done my body code mentoring certificate there and the rest is history.
So, and I remember still one night where spirit, you know, call it spirit because that's spirit, you know, woke me up and I just couldn't sleep, right? You know, maybe those times as well, we just like, oh my God, from left to the right and to the left and to the right. I was like, oh, for Christ's sake. You know what that means? Because you have that energy building up inside of you, that creative energy. I was like, okay, I got it. I get my sketchbook out. I listen to you and I just write it out. And all what came out was really that connection between human design and soul art and how they both can merge and how it might look like. You know, what does a channel mean? A channel means nothing different than you have one portal, one opening here, the other opening here. So you've got two gates for all those here online who are familiar with human design. They probably know what I mean. And you're kind of having that energy in between. So it's like a bridge, right? But that bridge again has a different energy.
So, what I was just trying to sense that I want to make human design so approachable to anyone, really, and understandable. So it becomes more like we're watching movies and understanding ourselves better. And it doesn't have to be hidden somewhere in the books, somewhere in any secret cellos and basements. No, I just want to make it available to all the people and to actually understand that in an easy way so that everyone who's working actually with me will understand their energetic blueprint and also their authority, how their intuition works and also their life purpose.
(Sonja)
I love it. And how, you told me that you don't do readings because you feel like reading is like one or two hours with somebody, and then they go out and go like, "And now?"
(Nina)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've just decided not to do that anyway publicly at the moment because it doesn't make any sense to me. A reading makes total sense when you have more time to actually develop during a mentoring, during a coaching, right? Over at least three months time. Because you just need not only to understand your blueprint but go into the training… experiment with your energy, and see how it works out, yeah? Also, after a while, you might just get different hahas with different people with different circumstances. You can't have that in one or two-hour sessions. That doesn't work, you see? And so it's not sustainable for the person. I always have that person in my mind, and I want to have them really create results. And I have to say they're not creating results if they're just having a reading with me, but they can create results if they have mentoring over a longer period of time.
(Sonja)
Makes sense.
Nina, we're approaching the end of our exploration of your life path and your, oh my God, your vocation, your…. I can't even really say what it is because it feels so much bigger than who we are, just really in this world, right? …Talking about calling
Let's share, you share with us one last idea, sentence, or phrase that you would like this interview to finish off with.
(Nina)
Figure out what your thing is and just keep following it no matter what. You know, whatever that is that is yours and that you feel passionate about and that you can feel there is a drive behind it. And not just a drive like a quickie, right? Those little sparkies. No… A drive that is sustainable, that just drives you over a longer period of time. Normally, that is your life purpose. So whatever really turns you on, whatever really lights you up. And also what really makes you happy in terms of… also have a look at serving people… and see what makes you happy and what lights you up. It's normally your part of life's purpose. That's what I sensed. And so I just encourage everyone to figure out what is the thing that you want to pursue in life and just make it happen.
(Sonja)
Wow. Thank you, Nina. This is such a good closing. And the only thing I always say is in the end, let's together grow happy like a righ hippie…
(Nina)
Yay!
(Sonja)
Thank you! I mean our story, how we met and everything we can tell another time because it's also crazy, and it's probably the universe playing its little role in it. Yeah.
(Nina)
The universe knows how to navigate and to bring people together that never would have met before anywhere else.
(Sonja)
So, thank you very much for being on the show. Thank you very much for your energy for spreading the message.
